


All You've Built (it's crumbling down)

by zarinthel



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Angst, Captain America: Civil War (Movie) Spoilers, Gen, Missing Scene, No Bashing, Tony Stark Has Issues, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, Tony Stark-centric, i wanted to write this since the minute i got out of that theatre, this just covers tony getting out of siberia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-22
Updated: 2016-05-22
Packaged: 2018-06-10 02:29:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,019
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6934753
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zarinthel/pseuds/zarinthel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tony picks himself back up, and then has to pick up Captain America's shield. </p><p> </p><p>This is a missing scene from Captain America: Civil War. Spoiler Alert.</p>
            </blockquote>





	All You've Built (it's crumbling down)

It was a while before Tony was able to get himself out of the suit. It could repair itself, it _was_ repairing itself, but he just wanted out. It was strange, looking at the gash on the suit where Captain America-- where _Steve Rogers_ had smashed the shield down. The shield had gone exactly far enough. Any shallower, and Tony could have kept on fighting. Any deeper, and Tony closed his eyes, feeling the constant thrum of his chest. Any deeper, and he would have died slowly, his heart failing as the arc reactor cracked. 

Tony pushed the little hysterical screams back into a box. He needed to get started on the more detailed repairs to his suit. He stepped farther away, instead. He didn’t want to talk to FRIDAY. He didn’t want to talk to anyone. Unconsciously, he took one more step back, then another. Then his foot came into contact with a slick metal surface, and he slipped and fell on his ass with a dull thud. Tony looked at what had tripped him up. 

Cap’s shield lay there on the floor. It was banged all to hell; scratch marks and scorch marks had caused the metal to show through the paint job, and the white paint was now full of patchy shades of grey. _My father made this shield_ echoed in his mind, like all the times where he couldn’t just keep his mouth shut. His father had made him, too, and look how that turned out. He laughed, and coughed up blood. Guess he was a little bit more hurt than he thought. 

“Hey, JARVIS,” Tony said, even though JARVIS was dead. Way to go, Tony, he thought. You managed to outlive both of them. He couldn’t stop his hands from sliding over the vibranium shield. His ears were still ringing from the crunch of his armour and the clang of Steve dropping the shield. He knew he’d be hearing those sounds in his dreams for quite some time. Maybe they’d manage to drown out sound of the Jericho missiles. 

“J, what are your recommendations?” There was still no answer. Of course not. “I really fucked up this time, J. You’d have locked me out of my own suit before you let it get this far.” Tony curled up in a ball, small and quiet. Children are seen, not heard. 

“Why does Steve get to be the one to have his best friend back from the dead, JARVIS?” He tried to stop the whine. As with most things, he was unsuccessful. He stuffed his fist into his mouth and tasted blood. The whine stopped, though. So. That was good. 

“Preliminary Repairs Complete.” FRIDAY’s voice projected from the suit. Tony considered standing up. In order to do that, he would need to... let go of the shield. When had he even grabbed onto it, anyway. He tried to uncurl his hand from Steve’s shield. It did not seem to be moving. And Tony was just, so tired. He needed a drink.

“Flight Capabilities Restored.” Tony blinked. It occurred to him that he probably wasn’t tracking the time as well as he thought he was. He needed to get it together. He had stuff to do, things to make, people to bug. He could have his breakdown later. 

Tony slowly climbed to his feet. Everything seemed... a bit heavier than it should be, but it was fine. He was fine. The couple of steps distance suddenly seemed to stretch out into an uncrossable distance. 

“Bring the suit over here, FRIDAY,” he ordered. The empty, dinged up armour got to its feet and headed over. Tony carefully stepped back inside the shell. 

“All necessary systems online, boss!” chirped FRIDAY. “Do you wish to continue your pursuit?” Tony slowly exhaled until the urge to punch something passed. 

“No,” he gritted out. “We’re returning to Avenger’s Tower. You’re in charge of navigation.” 

“Sure thing, boss!” said FRIDAY. “I recommend carrying Steve’s shield on your right arm. There are no other methods of storage currently available.” If Tony had been in control of the suit, he would have staggered. 

“He never let me touch it,” Tony said. He made no move to pick the shield up. “It’s been literal years since we started working together,” and ooh, look, he was bitter, “and he gives it all up for a brainwashed assassin with greasy hair and zero fashion sense!” 

“Um, boss?” FRIDAY’s voice was more tentative than he had ever heard it. “Maybe you should call someone?” 

“Like who, FRIDAY?” Tony asked, his momentary spark of anger blowing itself out and leaving him even more exhausted than before. “I can’t call Pepper, I promised her no more Iron Man. I can’t call Rodney, he’s in the,” Tony’s breath hitched, “hospital,” I can’t call Natasha, he thinks, because she betrayed me. “And the next conversation with Vision needs to be face to face.” 

That’s when it hits him, socks him in the solar plexus where the hurt lingers in your breath long after the bruises fade. If I stay here, he thinks, no one will come for me. And it hurts, it hurts like when he was five years old and Howard didn’t pay his ransom, like every nightmare he’s ever had except this one will never end. He feels tears pricking at his eyes, and he hasn’t cried since he was seventeen, why is this happening now.

He picks up Steve’s shield. It's heavier than it looks, he thinks. He flips it over so he can attach it to his arm, and nearly drops it on his foot. On the inside of the shield is are two sentences, etched into the metal.

 _Because you’re too stupid to know how to duck._ ~JBB  
_He’s right._ ~Stark

Tony suppresses a full body flinch. He attaches the shield anyway, and starts plans for the best way to completely melt down this suit and do something to it. It’s obvious that he’s never going to be able to wear it again. 

“Ready to launch, boss,” says FRIDAY. And then he lets the world fade to black.

**Author's Note:**

> In case anyone is interested, Tony is barely in my top five favorite characters in the mcu, and that's mostly because I don't go to see a lot of movies. However, I really wanted to explore the fact that Tony is getting hit with his worst nightmare come to life, because I think that trauma victims should be respected and validated. 
> 
> follow me for a lot of sad mcu snippets on tumblr. https://www.tumblr.com/blog/zarinthelwrites
> 
> also, please comment, comments are my inspiration, i love them.


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